What the hell are these commercials about?

i watch a fair bit of TV in the evenin's and it's come to my attention that the average commercial on late at night is just wrong....

 Why is it that anytime something to do with vaginer comes on, folks is walkin on a beach?
 Tampon? Beach , Doosh? Beach  Weener pills? two folks walkin on a beach  (and the odd thing is how often that them doosh commercials have two women walkin on a beach, is there some specific lesbian dooshin issues involved I don't know about?)

 Another thing I have noticed is how many of them lawyer commercials is on late at night.  Like ,they reckon, your broke ass is up late, you ain't got no job,  so maybe you can sue some folks and you can sit on yer ass for a bit longer!!!  (ain't a half bad idea really...)

 One of my favrites, is that Teeter thang!  They got some old bastard out there (and he says his name is Roger Teeter.....ain't that convenient, guess we are all lucky he isn't a mountain climber eh?)  
 But he got this thang where you hang upside down and it's supposed to make you youngr, or healthier.  or some bullshit like that.  Really tho? hangin upside down makes ya healthier?  Didn't they do that back in the old knights of the old table days to torture people?  I doubt too many folks were poppin up after a day or two hanging from their toes and sayin " my back feels great!!!"
  Ya know what, I got a great idea,  I'll change my name to Roger Standup and my deevice'll have ya standin straight up, usin none of yer muscles and it'll have a little spot to hold yer beer and the remote, and for an extra $20 we'll give ya a gravy drip!  Let's see how healthy you feel after 4 good hours of beer gravy and not movin!!!!   "I'm Roger Standup, I;m 37 years old and I feel like crap!!!! "(then I'd fall over)



 Whatever happened to them K-tel record collection commercials?  I know young folks do all that damn downloadin and listen to their music on some shitty little box with headphones or these terrible speakers now (and it sounds like shit)   but they can't have a K-tel collection for the I-pod?   Hosted by Bo Duke or maybe The Hulk guy or some shit?  "You get over 200 of yer favrite hits, downloaded direct to yer music box for only $19.95 (plus shippin and handlin)"   It would be amusin and I'm sure both Bo Duke could use the money AND Linda Rondstat would like to hear her songs on the TV again... I miss em both...

  My latest gripe, has been these fat pill commercials,they all say "you can eat watcha want and watch the fat melt away"   Really? melt away huh?  Well my wife/goat  ordered some of that shit a few years back and lemme tellya, you damn sure better read that there fine print, cuz the "melting" they talk about is true.  That fat melts it's way right out yer asshole so fast that yer chafin for 6 weeks and have a new found appreciation for Niagara Falls.     It was gross , and ole girl had the worst gas ...... It was like she'd ate a balloon full of  motor oil and garbage......I slept in the barn

 Not to mention that we've all got so damn lazy.  We want a pill for our weener and a pill to get skinny and a pill to stop our "back pain" and a pill to stop us givin a shit......   Ya know, me and my kin have reckoned that there ain't a problem known to mankind that duct tape, wd-40, corn liquor or a shotgun caint fix....  I don't need no damn pills to live my life!!! Hell, only pill I ever take is an aspirin twice a day to keep my blood pressure from blowin sky high when my wife/goat decides the livin room needs to be pink.....


I've got it !   (this is some awesome shit man check this out)

 You getcha a Teeter, that plays K-tel records and injects ya full of weener pills and fat suckin juice (oh and for the ladies, it just keeps yer vaginer fresh and feeds ya fat suckin juice and my own pill that makes ya stop runnin ya damn mouth all the time)

 I'd sell it for $99.95,  but if you order in the next 10 minutes, the shippin and handlin is free!!!



see ya at the fishin hole!