Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Prometheus, a Hllbilly's take

  I saw that there Prometheus movie a few days after it came out, and I been ponderin it ever since.  (my wife/goat hated it, but she don't know shit bout movies unless they got that little Tom Cruise feller in em...)


anyway,  I thank it's important to note that I have waited a long damn time to write about it,  it made me think......  This is a good thing.

 Now my Brother in law Clete said he thought it was stupid and didn't make no sense.  This was his review to me as he saw it at midnite on openin night,(took me til like thursday to see it)  well being that my sister met Clete at Dino's Tavern while he was winnin 2nd place in the annual Mountain Oyster Eatin contest  (sheep balls to you folks that don't know) I wasn't too surprised, as he'd prolly be stumped by sumthin as complex as a can of peanuts or the movie Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo(in short the  community center gonna be shut down by evil city folk,the  kids have break dancin fund raiser and save it for the betterment of the people and their delightfully un-criminal urban community)   But lemme tell ya folks,  Prometheus is much more complex and realistic than Breakin 2!


 *SHIT THAT'LL RUNT THE MOVIE FER YA WARNIN!!!!*



 It opens with this spaceship flyin over this big body builder feller from space , he dranks him some black goo stuff and dissolves into his basic structure of dna (like a dna man porridge)  and we don't know if it's earth he's on or not,  but we see the dna recombine in the water and we can speculate that this here is how life was made (NO IT WASN'T JESUS CLETE! SHUT UP IT'S MY DAMN REVIEW!!!)


sorry, damn idjit brother in law of mine is hollerin from the livin room.   (I hurt my hand so my nephew Stump is typin for me)....Stump you didn't have to type out what i said to yer daddy!! shit, no dammit stop it!!..... alright fine..........

 anyway,  next thang ya know, there this purty science lady and her scientist boyfriend and they find this cave paintin of big aliens pointing at some stars.  We find out later that these same pitchers are found all over the world and so they present this idea to the big evil company that we find out later sent off the space trucker folk from the first Alien movie.

 So, then we cut to a big ole spaceship , and that Fatsbender guy (he's a great actor)  is playing  kinda like the caretaker of the ship, folks are sleepin in their hibernation pods and he's watchin Lawrence of Arabia over and over and playin basketball from a bicycle (I thought he's queer at first, turns out he's just a robot)


But he's been a peeping in on the science lady's dreams,  and I thought that was just kinda wrong ya know..... who the hell even needs to invent sumthin like that?.............


 so, they all wake up, hot ass Charlize Theron (don't tell my wife/goat  I said that Stump)  is the big evil corporate lady she gathers em all together  to have a meetin


turns out that they reckon that whoever put the life on earth left a message to find em, and that's why the whole project is goin on. There's a cool hologrm of the founder of the company who comes out in some kinda shitty old man makeup but his actin is really good and all, so it don't matter that damn much,  but he helps kinda explain the basics of everything. You kinda get the feelin that the scientists and the the corporate bitch are the only folks who know what's really goin on and the other folks are just truck drivers and hired guns and side men.... It don't matter really...


I'm gonna avoid spoilin too damn much of it fer ya , but let's just say that things don't go as planned...........  BUT, BUT,BUT,  that ain't what was cool bout this movie.

 It was cool cuz I had to do a lot of thinkin, and I love thinkin....    This movie, it isn't all spelled out fer ya,  it ain't like watchin a damn Transformers movie,  and it ain't like any of the other Alien movies neither....

It's more like that bad ass Steven Kubrick movie 2001...   It's DEEEEEP, and i love that shit man, I can just watch that kinda shit over and over,  you know one time I watched the movie Dead Man like 4 times in a row cuz I was tryin to figure it all out and I had a whole damn batch of shine go off .... I just plum forgot it!


 Sorry, anyway  ,   It makes you think about what it means to be a human,  are we different? special?  is there really a purpose to life?  Do we deserve to survive any longer?

 How did we get here?  Who do we blame when we die? and do we have a right to live if we have a creator? (be it Jesus or alien space men?)

All this stuff is in this movie,  and not all of it is answered,  but I lik that it ain't fuckin Breakin 2, I lik how the end ain't all tied up for ya in a purty bow.

 Now there's some problems with some of the characters motivashunss ...oh hell Stump that's close enuff I don't know how to spell it neither,   and it ain't a perfect movie.  But  I like thinkin, and Prometheus made me do a lot of thinkin!




I give it a 4.5 gallons of shine out 5!




see ya at the fishin hole!

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